Hats Off! (Please?)
On the proper wearing of hats in modern times
Hats, meaning men’s hats, have been in the news lately.
First came a New York Times lifestyle piece about a purported renaissance in male headwear (presumably beyond ubiquitous baseball caps), based on some recent film portrayals and also the runway shows at Milan Fashion Week. Then came the pictures of Trump wearing his USA golf cap while saluting the solemn transfer of remains of the first fallen soldiers in the Iran War.
I have thoughts on both.
As for Trump, we could leave it with the X post by California governor Gavin Newsom: “Take your hat off, you disgusting little man.” On point, but there’s more to say about society’s lost hat etiquette, and (briefly) about Trump, to wit: Best case scenario, he’s a cretin with no clue that saluting war dead might be cause for hat removal—and no flunkies who would dare correct Sir Leader. Worst case? He knew it was improper but didn’t want to muss his hair.
Moving on, about those ball caps. For years I’d been assuming that Americans visiting Rome were all wearing them because they’re being tourists and it’s hot and the visors give a bit of shade. Fine. Then I went back to America a couple years ago and realized that basically all American men now wear ball caps, all the time. And not just outdoors. Presumably they come off at bedtime, but I can’t be sure.
I’ve been meaning to write a post about the badly dressed reporters at the New York Times, based on their videos posted on the site.[1] For today and specific to hats, I want to call out the Times opinion columnist Jamelle Bouie. I hesitate because he is my favorite Times columnist, a brilliant young thinker who puts today’s chaotic politics within the context of American history, in ways that always surprise me.
He also shares my passion for cooking, and often includes recipes in his political columns. I really really want to believe that Bouie does not wear a ball cap at the dinner table, but he appears to wear one indoors, a lot—on his video appearances at the Times and even his “official” portrait on his personal website.
So that might make him just another American dude in a baseball cap; no news there. But Bouie is otherwise, and especially by the low standards of the Times, rather well dressed. He wears sport jackets—tweed in winter, seersucker in summer, and generally with a tie. It’s classic Ivy History Prof, lacking only the tobacco pipe.[2] But then the whole effect is ruined by the ball cap. Why bother dressing up? Jamelle, if you’re out there, lose the cap!
Rant concluded, on to some apparently forgotten rules about hats:
Hats are for outdoors. Take them off inside.
Exceptions are public indoor spaces you’re “just passing through,” like banks, train stations and museums.
Do not ever eat while wearing a hat. Anywhere. Not at home, not in public. Especially in Rome. I’ll see you. So will all the other locals, who will dismiss you inwardly as a cretinous American.[3]
While we’re in Rome, hats come off in churches, but only for men. The Times recently suggested, in a travel story, that this rule applies to men and women. The writer obviously did not go to Catholic school.[4] I remember when hats, or veils, were required on women during Mass; now they are merely optional.
We conclude with traditional hats, which the Times now suggests are making a comeback. I have my doubts, not least because we no longer have a hat infrastructure. There are simply no places anymore to hang your hat in restaurants or even homes, to say nothing of planes and trains. That mostly leaves chairs; you may not care if someone sits on your stupid Yankees cap, but a butt will ruin a nice fedora. Today, wearing traditional hats requires a certain commitment, like flying with a cello.
Also, trad hats can give off a cosplay vibe on younger men, same as bowties. Proceed with caution. If you are in your twenties or thirties, wear a fedora with appropriate other clothes so as not to look “ironic.” Jamelle Bouie would look great in a fedora—or, in summer, a wide-brimmed Panama above his seersucker suit. Just not indoors.
About those Panamas. Real ones are hand woven in Ecuador, the best coming from the town of Montecristi. (The name Panama refers to the fact that they were carried to the isthmus for onward sale to the world.) Good ones, the finer the weave the better, are expensive. Some cost thousands of dollars, but few people beyond connoisseurs are likely to judge the difference between a $500 Panama and a $5,000 version, both of which are easily left behind or sat upon. I own two Panamas, one rollable for travel, from Brent Black of Hawaii, considered the finest modern Panama presser and a dedicated supporter of the weavers in Ecuador.
As for felt winter hats (fedoras, trilbies), my favorite shop in Rome is Troncarelli, a tiny overflowing space in the historic center, selling Italian-made hats since 1857.
The best authentic French berets are made by Laulhère.
My last hat tip is on tipping. Gentlemen can no longer be expected to fully remove their hat on greeting a woman outdoors, but it’s a nice gesture to quickly lift it, or at least tip the brim with your finger. A tip of the hat says a lot. Even with a stupid Yankees cap.
[1] Talking about men. The female Times reporters still generally dress well.
[2] I always assumed Bouie was an academic historian, but in researching this post I discovered he has a plain old B.A. like me.
[3] Even Germans, noted for their summer attire of cargo shorts, Birkenstocks and black socks, remove their hats indoors.
[4] Related point: Journalists, please stop calling JFK Jr. a WASP.
Seems like men do not grow up. I don’t understand this baseball cap trend. When will it go the way of the dodo. Do they not realize that they look like a 12 yr old boy. Just not classy!
I find baseball caps on men revolting, unless they are baseball players and then I find them utterly sexy. I have concluded men are wearing them to hide whatever stage of hair loss they are in Women are not fooled by this. Also, I'm surprised you didn't address the common wearing of the offensive cap backwards! The visor provides no shade for the eyes. What is going on there? Somebody, please enlighten me.